Cue violins: Two years ago I was trying on boots and couldn’t zip them up without another pair of hands to help case my legs in like sausages. There are a lot of things I couldn’t do two years ago. I struggled to walk long distances. Climbing stairs was an Everest expedition. I struggled to bend over to pick things up: If it fell on the floor, it stayed there. I couldn’t run; I couldn’t skip; I couldn’t jog… My feet began to hurt if I stood for too long. No wonder, when you consider that I stand at 1.52m and was carrying the same weight as a rugby prop (the really big guys with no necks).


In 2010 I met Nicholas. I went to gym three times a week, started watching what I ate and lost about three to five kilos (so weighing about as much as a loose forward). But the real weight loss only started at the beginning of 2012, when Nicholas challenged me to a three-month weight-loss blitz (through what I thought was a very good stand-up comedy routine). My goal was to become leaner, fitter and lighter – and to increase my metabolism. This meant eight to nine gruelling workout sessions a week, keeping a food journal, cutting out sugar, fat and wine, and slashing my kilojoule intake.

It wasn’t an easy challenge. And that is the truth about weight loss. It’s not supposed to be easy. It’s about putting in a concerted effort, both diet- and exercise-wise. It’s about seeing food, not just as a piece of cake, but as fuel. A mix of carbs, protein and healthy fats energise me far more than any cup of coffee or energy drink could. Food is the fuel that helps burn fat.

In three months I lost 12 kilos. My body-fat percentage went from 27.8 to 17.4. I’m not at my goal weight, but because of Nicholas I can jump into my boots (literally – only two hands needed). I can now run, I can now skip, I can now do things I once thought I couldn’t.

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